Songwriter’s struggles


 When I’m deeply inspired, I usually “get” almost the whole song in one breath… 

However, there is always something missing, maybe a few words, maybe a part of the song’s structure, maybe I just need to work on the production or to write partitures to record musicians etc.

Whatever it is – ? those last 5-20% of it takes so much strain and effort and it’s the hardest time in a creative process… It’s like my heart gave its best and now it’s gone and I’m left to the cerebral part of the process…cold, judgemental, technical… ah…

Battle with a Perfectionist

This is when I have to face the perfectionist in me. It’s tricky because perfectionist doesn’t aim only to make things technically perfect *, but also aims to preserve the emotion which:
paradoxically, 1) perfectionist in me didn’t create in the first place &
2) he can’t feel anything, because perfectionist IS in the MIND.

He might “feel” cerebral fascination with some complex stuff but never with the pure emotion… This “guy” is a killer of everything that could heal this world! 
Re-technical stuff **(luckily, he knows that’s impossible to reach, so we’re ok with this one… (though it took him 10 years to get it and accept it))**.


Hating the song after listening to it for a thousand times

Although I do know his tricks, perfectionist’s perception and commentary such as “this song is boring and empty” seems like a possible truth since deep down I can’t feel a thing for a song after hearing it for the thousandth time. It’s the unfortunate destiny of all of my relationships with songs.

The moment I start to “perfect” my songs, we fall out of love of each other.

Yeah, just like in a  romantic relationship. 😀 So, what would you choose? To have a lasting love and fully accept the unfinished song or would you finish it and face with the lost love? But, now you could give something to the world.

**Btw, just for the sake of clarity. Definition of FINISHED music is different for each of us: For me, finished means RELEASE ready. 

“To succeed in life in today’s world, you must have the will and tenacity to finish the job.” Chin-Ning Chu

Not to trust your thoughts in this phase

So, in this ?“overexposed” phase I need to face yet another challenge which is now NOT TO TRUST MY PERCEPTION when in this mode…!! I have to trust my initial perception and keep on with the process…..

... this photo was taken yesterday while I was trying to finish the recent song... 
I couldn't do it for hours, I wrote 4 pages....but nothing felt right... 
until it finally did... persistence beats everything!  I'm thankful. 

(Am I now ready to face my perfectionist, then ? saboteur,? 
then afraid of being judged/thrown away from the tribe of humans?   )

p.s. If you think I'm crazy, I thought so too for a while, 
but after I learnt some NLP stuff and met other crazy dedicated artists... 
apparently I'm not and this is just a regular, normal, human thing for most of us.

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